| |
September 22nd, 2005
| Post 1 |
| Chief Engineer  | Post; TECH SUPPORT !!!Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? Tech support: Okay, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right? Customer: Yeah! Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using? Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises! Listen .. Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one! Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck! Tech support: That doesn't sound good! I'll make a note! Customer: No, wait a minute! I hadn't inserted it yet! It's still on my desk! Sorry! Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen! Customer: Your left or my left? Tech support: Good day! How may I help you? Male customer: Hello ... I can't print! Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and ... Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates! Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha! I can't print! Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it! Customer: I have problems printing in red! Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you! Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket! Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore! Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: Okay! Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes! Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here! Ah .. that one does work! Customer: I can't get on the Internet! Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars! Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail! Tech support: Okay and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? And last, but not least .. Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob! Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P" ... on your keyboard, Bob! Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!! 
__________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations  |
|
|
September 22nd, 2005
| Post 2 | |
| Nuclear Duck Hunter | Post; Re: TECH SUPPORT !!!Quote:
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error." I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that .. in case I need to fix it again?" Harold grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?" "No," I replied. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." So I wrote down ...... I D 1 0 T I used to like Harold.
__________________ “War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feelings which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.” —John Stuart Mill | |
|
|
|
September 22nd, 2005
| Post 3 |
| Master Gunner | Most computer problems originate from PEBKAC.  Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair My favorite is the lady who called in to complain that her coffee cup holder was broken. After a long go around trying to figure out how a computer could have a cup holder the tech finally discovered that she meant her CD tray. She had been jamming her styrofoam coffee cups into the hole in the tray and eventually it broke.
__________________ "Do not forget your dogs of war, your big guns, which are the most-to-be respected arguments of the rights of kings." - Frederick the Great, King of Prussia  |
|
|
|
September 22nd, 2005
| Post 4 |
| Tribuni Angusticlavii | 
__________________ Some more words of wisdom from LIPS |
|
|
|
September 23rd, 2005
| Post 5 |
| Milites Gregarius | I used to think "naaah...can't be true", until one time (really, on a greek shop :P) some years ago, when I was going to get my PC fixed (was little, so I got a wee delete key happy...anyways) and someone called the technician on the phone. After some conversation: "Now, open (your) Windows and tell me what you see" (half a min later) "Cars?! Not those windows! The Windows on your PC!" :P |
|
|
|
January 13th, 2007
| Post 6 |
| Forum Brat | Those are great! 
__________________ Woe to the man or woman who thinks that the capacity to kill is not lurking behind these civilized eyes. -- James Woods Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose. |
|
|
|
February 6th, 2007
| Post 7 |
| Milforum's Postmaster | thanks for sharing
__________________  |
|
|
|
February 7th, 2007
| Post 8 |
| Milforum Pivotman | The one about the keyboard is my favorite. "Walk 10 steps back." "ok..." "did the keyboard come with you?" "yes it did." *dial tone.* hahaha.
__________________ C/1Lt Ret. Henderson "Life is a tragedy to those who feel, and a comedy to those who think."- Fortune Cookie |
|
|
|
February 7th, 2007
| Post 9 |
| U of B and B Alumnus | Funny, let me see what Homer Simpson has to say about it all..... "To start press any key . . . where's the 'any' key?" Homer Simpson
__________________ |
|
|
|
February 8th, 2007
| Post 10 |
| Milforum Chaplain  | If there was a donut symbol on the "any" key Homer would find it  |
|
|
