Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary
submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my
interest.
The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little
something extra for my wife Julie.
What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term
adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to
safety...??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I
loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button... Nothing!
I was disappointed.
I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a
metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting
back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot
is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it
couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting
little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really
needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and
then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat.
But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against
a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses
perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and
Tazer in another.

The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of
bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the
ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long,
less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA
batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side
so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,'
reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't
hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for
heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the
recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over
again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with
tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere
to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position,
and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard
before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously
in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the
living room.

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of
caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself!
You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a
violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that
point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed
the landscape.

* My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
* The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it
originally was.
* My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
* My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip
weighed 88 lbs.
* I had no control over the drooling.
* Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for
sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
* I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my
hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for
their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now
regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

I think there is something you are not telling us... Opa Brit?

You tried it again right?

I did get a shock from a stun gun a few years ago, I was demonstrating one for a customer when the charge leaked onto my my hand. I did leap about a bit and that was only 150000 volt. My arm was numb all day long.

If I wanted to test one today I'd use my daughters moggies.

Originally Posted by BritinAfrica

I did get a shock from a stun gun a few years ago, I was demonstrating one for a customer when the charge leaked onto my my hand. I did leap about a bit and that was only 150000 volt. My arm was numb all day long.

If I wanted to test one today I'd use my daughters moggies.

MAybe we can sell them to the Iranians- tell them it is party toy, or something...

Or sell them to all the stupid people in the world. Tell them that for maximum enjoyment, they must crank the voltage up to as high as it will go.

"I'm not saying we should kill all the stupid people in the world,

I'm just saying we should remove the warning labels from everything and let the problem take care of itself."

Back to the stun gun thing. I couldn't stop laughing when I first read it. Brilliant.

What on earth possessed you, BritinAfrica? "Hmm... this is a very powerful gun that is used to stun criminals when they are being pursued - often fired from a distance. I'm going to use it on my naked thigh from point-blank range..."

Originally Posted by hawky94

Or sell them to all the stupid people in the world. Tell them that for maximum enjoyment, they must crank the voltage up to as high as it will go.

"I'm not saying we should kill all the stupid people in the world,

I'm just saying we should remove the warning labels from everything and let the problem take care of itself."

Back to the stun gun thing. I couldn't stop laughing when I first read it. Brilliant.

What on earth possessed you, BritinAfrica? "Hmm... this is a very powerful gun that is used to stun criminals when they are being pursued - often fired from a distance. I'm going to use it on my naked thigh from point-blank range..."

Erm, it wasn't me Hawky that did it, I'm might be as nutty as a woodpecker, but I'm not that bloody nutty.

Originally Posted by hawky94

Or sell them to all the stupid people in the world. Tell them that for maximum enjoyment, they must crank the voltage up to as high as it will go.

"I'm not saying we should kill all the stupid people in the world,

I'm just saying we should remove the warning labels from everything and let the problem take care of itself."

Back to the stun gun thing. I couldn't stop laughing when I first read it. Brilliant.

What on earth possessed you, BritinAfrica? "Hmm... this is a very powerful gun that is used to stun criminals when they are being pursued - often fired from a distance. I'm going to use it on my naked thigh from point-blank range..."

Some people just want to see the eyes of their intended target when they do it, you know... Is that hunter streak in all of us, man...

I actually tried a taser on me once... (there, I admit to that, okay). It was not that bad... You can feel your nuts after 1 hour... and they are still not well done after that little experiment...

I see... my apologies BritinAfrica, I thought this was your own personal story!

Still funny as all hell though...

Originally Posted by hawky94

I see... my apologies BritinAfrica, I thought this was your own personal story!

Still funny as all hell though...

lol I've done some crazy things in my life, but never that crazy. lol

Originally Posted by viper2007

Some people just want to see the eyes of their intended target when they do it, you know... Is that hunter streak in all of us, man...

I actually tried a taser on me once... (there, I admit to that, okay). It was not that bad... You can feel your nuts after 1 hour... and they are still not well done after that little experiment...

And I thought I was the nutty one.

Originally Posted by BritinAfrica

lol I've done some crazy things in my life, but never that crazy. lol



And I thought I was the nutty one.

I actually did. This was when I was in the Special Volunteer Constabulary, some years back.

Stun guns (tasers, stuff like that...) are very much restricted items in Singapore. So when we had a stun gun that was confisticated from a tourist that was not delared when he entered Singapore, it was natural that eveyone was curious about it. We started wondering how this works, considering it only used a 9-volt battery.

Like the saying goes, curiosity kills the cat- it this case it was me... well almost... We were wondering how this infernal thing works, when someone had a bright idea on how we should test this contrapture (no price in guessing who came up with the bright idea!). Naturally, I was chosen to to the experiment. I cannot really described the experience, becasue I simply cannot remember what happened. All I remember was I was lying, sounding like a cat about to give birth, was a good thing that I had went to the gents prior to testing (something told me that it was wise to do that...). Another good thing was that people did have telephones that can make recordings...

It was some experience...