About Speeding
| About Speeding |
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February 17th, 2005
| #1 |
| | Speeding infoOlder Woman: * Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: * Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: * Oh, I see. Officer: * Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: * Don't have one? Older Woman: * Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: * I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: * I can't do that. Officer: * Why not? Older Woman: * I stole this car. Officer: * Stole it? Older Woman: * Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: * You what? Older Woman: * His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: * Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: * Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: * One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: * Murdered the owner? Officer 2: * Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: * Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: * Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: * One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: * Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: * Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too. * * * * * * * * * *MORAL: Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies "Our politicians do not serve us; they serve the multinational corporations that pay them. It's time to change that. Let's end the corporate takeover of our government." — Cenk Uygur  |
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February 17th, 2005
| #2 |
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I've heard this one so many times, only replace the old lady with Marines, pilots, etc... Still good though. MCpl K. Steliga Ground Controller Wing Operations/Air Traffic Control 14 Wing Greenwood Royal Canadian Air Force Per ardua ad astra |
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February 18th, 2005
| #3 |
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Sorry Serenity, but that joke was already told a year and a half ago here: http://www.military-quotes.com/forum...?t=241&start=0 "Do not forget your dogs of war, your big guns, which are the most-to-be respected arguments of the rights of kings." - Frederick the Great, King of Prussia  |
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February 18th, 2005
| #4 | |
| | Quote:
 Serenity  | |
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February 18th, 2005
| #5 |
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No problem... ....as long as you don't mind your thread getting locked.  |
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February 18th, 2005
| #6 |
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No problem, it's a great one anyway.. |
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February 18th, 2005
| #7 |
 |  Yeah just figure the first cop's face!
"Freedom is the sure possession of those alone who have the courage to defend it". Pericles.  |
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February 18th, 2005
| #8 | |
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 Eeee!Serenity | |
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February 18th, 2005
| #9 |
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Don't worry, el Supremo has cut you some slack  |
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February 19th, 2005
| #10 |
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First time I read it |
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