Speeding

About Speeding


  International Military Forums > The Off-Topic Zone > Military Jokes and Humor Forum > Non-Military Jokes and Humor Stuff
User Name
Password

 
December 1st, 2004   #1
Sooners1
 
 

Speeding info


An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see?

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: I Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
 
December 1st, 2004   #2
Darcia
 
Heard that one before but it gets better evertime.


^_^
 
December 2nd, 2004   #3
AFSteliga
 
 
Heard it before. Still funny though.


MCpl K. Steliga
Ground Controller
Wing Operations/Air Traffic Control
14 Wing Greenwood
Royal Canadian Air Force

Per ardua ad astra
 
December 3rd, 2004   #4
avckc
 
heard it before too but still funny
 
December 3rd, 2004   #5
Darkmb101
 


on a permanent vacation....will visit every now and then. see arcade
hidden message!!! Life is short and pointless, be happy and live it.
 
December 3rd, 2004   #6
Redleg
 
 
Nice one..
 
December 3rd, 2004   #7
lewis9119
 
 
every time i read this it crack me up.not.but still it is funny
.
.
 
December 3rd, 2004   #8
egoz
 
nice...

maybe i should have tried that the last time i got pulled over.


Flavius Vegetius Renatus De Rei Militari -
Let him who desires peace prepare for war.

Hard work doesn't guarantee success, but without it you don't have a chance. - Alex Rodriguez (Go Yankees!)
 
December 3rd, 2004   #9
Anya1982
 
 
hmmmmmmmmmmmm must use that one when i start driving
 
October 24th, 2005   #10
tomtom22
 
 


"It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations