Topic: Speeding

Sooners1 · December 1st, 2004

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see?

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: I Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Darcia · December 1st, 2004

Heard that one before but it gets better evertime.

NCdt Steliga · December 2nd, 2004

Heard it before. Still funny though.

avckc · December 3rd, 2004

heard it before too but still funny

Darkmb101 · December 3rd, 2004

Redleg · December 3rd, 2004

Nice one..

lewis9119 · December 3rd, 2004

every time i read this it crack me up.not.but still it is funny
.

.

egoz · December 3rd, 2004

nice...

maybe i should have tried that the last time i got pulled over.

Anya1982 · December 3rd, 2004

hmmmmmmmmmmmm must use that one when i start driving

tomtom22 · October 24th, 2005

December 1st, 2004	Post 1
Sooners1 Primus Pilus	Post; Speeding An older lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see? The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: I Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

December 1st, 2004	Post 2
Darcia Tribuni Angusticlavii	Heard that one before but it gets better evertime. __________________ ^_^

December 2nd, 2004	Post 3
NCdt Steliga Cadet Moderator Gear	Heard it before. Still funny though. __________________ 'Truth. Duty. Valour. Blow out you bugles over the rich dead There's none of these so lonely and poor of old But dying has made us rarer gifts than gold' Inscription on the top of the Memorial Arch at RMC Kingston

December 3rd, 2004	Post 5
Darkmb101 Tribunus Laticlavius	__________________ on a permanent vacation....will visit every now and then. see arcade hidden message!!! Life is short and pointless, be happy and live it.

December 3rd, 2004	Post 8
egoz Primus Pilus	nice... maybe i should have tried that the last time i got pulled over. __________________ Flavius Vegetius Renatus De Rei Militari - Let him who desires peace prepare for war. Hard work doesn't guarantee success, but without it you don't have a chance. - Alex Rodriguez (Go Yankees!)

December 3rd, 2004	Post 4
avckc Immunes	heard it before too but still funny

December 3rd, 2004	Post 6
Redleg The fire is everything... Gear	Nice one..

December 3rd, 2004	Post 7
lewis9119 Immunes	every time i read this it crack me up.not.but still it is funny . .

December 3rd, 2004	Post 9
Anya1982 Banned	hmmmmmmmmmmmm must use that one when i start driving

October 24th, 2005	Post 10
tomtom22 Chief Engineer Gear	__________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations

Topic: Speeding

Post; Speeding