Some WWII stuff

A

Acerbus

Active member
Not quite sure where all this stuff fits...

Taken from Robert Leckie's 'Delivered from Evil: A Saga of World War II':

"Soured as he was, Ismay did find some divertissement in the plight of his Royal Marine orderly, who, easily the smartest-looking member of the mission in his blue-and-gold uniform, was being constantly saluted by Soviet generals because of the red band on his cap. Ismay, in effect, told the Marine to relax and enjoy himself, and soon the young man became something of a celebrity in Moscow. Winston Churchill was particularly fond of relating the probably apocryphal story of his guided tour of the city. 'This,' said the guide, 'is the Eden Hotel, formerly Ribbentrop Hotel. Here is Churchill Street, formerly Hitler Street. Here is the Beaverbrook Railway Station, formerly the Goering Railway Station. Will you have a cigarette, Comrade?" The Marine nodded, and said: 'Thank you, Comrade-formerly Bolshevik bastard!'"
-During British visit to the Soviet Union in 1941
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"Always there was the word. Always there was that four-letter ugly sound that men in uniform have relied upon as the single solution to all difficulties of expression. It was a handle, a hyphen, a hyperbole, verb, noun, adjective, yes, even a conjunction. It described food, fatigue, metaphysics. It stood for everything and meant nothing; an insulting word, it was never used to insult; crudely descriptive of the sexual act, it was never used to describe it; base, it meant the best; ugly, it modified beauty; it was the name and nomenclature of the voice of emptiness, but Lucky heard it from chaplains and from captains, from PFCs and Ph.D.s-until, finally, he wondered whether, if a visitor to this planet unacquainted with the English language were to overhear these Marines cursing, he would, in the way of the Higher Criticism, demonstrate by measurement and numerical incidence that this little word must assuredly be the thing for which they were fighting."
-Regarding language of Marine recruits in basic training
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"From the American admiral in charge of the striking force, to the Japanese admiral on the Marshall Islands: It is a pleasure to thank you for having your patrol plane not sight my force."
-Admiral William Frederick 'Bull' Halsey after a Japanese patrol plane from the Marshalls in hopes of getting the pilot executed so that one less enemy would have to be fought. Just before his surprise attack on the Marshall Islands and Makin of the Gilberts the next day.
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"On Guadalcanal in early 1943 the coast watchers who occupied the lonely high mountain peaks were being called in. Their work was done. Among them was K. D. hay, a veteran of World War I and easily the fattest man in the South Pacific. Yet he had continued to operate from the abandoned mining camp known as Gold Ridge. But at last he was coming down, brining with him the aged nun who was the sole survivor of a Japanese massacre and rape of a Catholic mission. Melanesian bearers carried her down. Hay descended on foot, panting and gasping all the way. When he reached the the coastal road, he was near collapse. He sent word to the Americans asking for a jeep, explaining that he was "knocked up." This British slang for exhaustion is of course, Americanese for being pregnant. When a puzzled army officer drove out to assist Hay, he took a one look at his ample belly, clapped his hand to his forehead and swore:

"My God, it's true!"
-Little incident recorded in the book
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"In the surf," he said with solemn relish, "beware of sharks, barracuda, sea snakes, anemones, razor-sharp coral, polluted waters, poison fish and giant clams that shut on a man like a bear trap. Ashore," he went on with rising enthusiasm, "there is leporsy, typhus, filariasis, yaws, typhoid, malaria, dengue fever, dysentery, sabre grass, hordes of flies, snakes and giant lizards." He paused, winded, but rushed on: "Eat nothing growing on the island, don't drink its waters, and don't approach its inhabitants." He stopped, smiled benignly and inquired: "Any questions?"

A private's hand shot up. "Sir, why'n hell don't we let the Japs keep the island?"
-Battalion surgeon of the Fourth Marine Division's brief to the men before invading Saipan
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If anyone's interested in WWII, I heartily recommend this book. It's very eloquent, flows quite nicely and is riddled with a number of amusing side stories to the war happening all over the world.
 
I think Ill check it out some times, sounds good. Another place Ive found WWII humor is from Ernie Pyles Brave Men, the guys he writes about can be preety funny at times, and has some of the wierdest stuff you just find funny. I remember one time he was talking about some air force mechanic, and kept saying he got invited to the soldiers tent to watch his stove blow up, preety funny stuff, within the context that is.
 
Not quite sure where all this stuff fits...
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I think this is the right category for this... :D

Sounds like an interresting book, I'll check it out sometime.
 
Hehe some nice anecdtoes to be sure. I will most definitely be looking into the book.

By the way, there was a series of "pocket books" written by a retired Major in the USMC. I think it was called "Sea Stories" or Salt Stories" or some such. Does anyone have any insight? The books were appx 1 inch thick and 4.5inches square. I have looked around some and have failed to locate any source.
 
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