THE SANTA CLAUS CONSPIRACY!

About THE SANTA CLAUS CONSPIRACY! Page 3


  International Military Forums > The Off-Topic Zone > General Chit Chat
User Name
Password

 
December 4th, 2011   #21
AFSteliga
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigcanada813
Does he file a flight plan with the FAA?
Actually, he'd file his flight plan through North Bay FIC and get his clearance from Edmonton Center as it would be the closest controlled airspace he'd enter North America through.

Just thought I'd clarify the ATC side of things.


MCpl K. Steliga
Precision Approach Radar Controller
Wing Operations/Air Traffic Control
14 Wing Greenwood
Royal Canadian Air Force

Per ardua ad astra
 
--
December 5th, 2011   #22
BritinAfrica
 
 
I'd bet the Soviets would try and shoot him down

If Santa doesn't come this year, this could be why.


I try to be the man my dog thinks I am.

Last edited by BritinAfrica; December 18th, 2011 at 07:16..
 
December 5th, 2011   #23
Julie
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BritinAfrica
If Santa doesn't come this year, this could be why.
They say Santa only comes once a year.
Ainít you glad you ain't Santa?
 
December 5th, 2011   #24
Yossarian
 
 
For those of you who complain about recieving coal for the holidays I suggest you read this.


http://www.businessweek.com/news/201...-uob-says.html

With those prices who would'nt want black gold for the holidays?



"This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience"- Dwight D. Eisenhower , Jan 17,1961.
 
December 5th, 2011   #25
viper2007
 
 
Julie said:
They say Santa only comes once a year.
Ainít you glad you ain't Santa?

Aaahhhh, you be a good girl, now!
 
December 5th, 2011   #26
84RFK
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie
They say Santa only comes once a year.
Ainít you glad you ain't Santa?
Well Julie, I'm not quite sure how to put this...but I have news for you.
Good news and bad news.

The good news is that you were actually a perfectly nice and kind girl for the last few years, it's not your fault that Santa didn't show up and fondle your stockings.

The bad news is that Santa didn't show up the last couple of years, and will in fact never show up again, because I accidentally managed to torch his beard with a signal flare in 2006...

Sorry.


Today we are all Norwegians! Swedish Foreign Minister Carl Bildt. 22. July 2011
 
December 5th, 2011   #27
rattler
 
 
No, no, no, no, no! You all got that wrong, except the conspiracy bit:

The guy is dangerous and I know that because I saw it on a German TV series called "Aktenzeichen XY" (something like "File Nr XY"), forbidden to transmit in the US (conspiracy!?), and they revealed it all, based on a witness who is more than authentic, here a summary:

Quote:
It's the night before Christmas and you might think that you and your family are safe and snug in your beds, but if you think that no one is stirring, not even a mouse, you're sadly mistaken. The truth is that Christmas Eve is the one time of year when you're in the most danger from America's longest-running fugitive, the midnight prowler known as "Santa Claus."

Despite being single-handedly responsible for a centuries-long crime spree, Santa Claus has never been successfully taken into custody, nor has a security camera ever taken any pictures that could be positively identified as being his. At least in part, this is because Santa's crimes are always committed under the cover of night on a major holiday, and because he has always targeted private residences instead of business establishments.

Based on the few eyewitness accounts of Santa Claus in action, the FBI has constructed this composite sketch:




One of our investigators was able to locate one of Santa Claus' accomplices who has accompanied him on several of these annual raids. On the condition that his identity not be revealed, he was willing to speak to one of our reporters.

We will refer to our informant only as "Reindeer X."

Raindeer X


Quote:
"I'm one of the newest of Santa's recruits, so I couldn't tell you much about his earlier raids, but my guess is that his tactics haven't changed much. He's pretty set in his ways.

Why am I spilling the beans on Santa? Because it's got to be told. ...and I still feel like a misfit in Santa's private air force. Oh, sure, the other reindeer won't come out and say anything, but they still don't invite me to join in any reindeer games.

Here is how it goes:

We start by landing on the rooftop of the target house. So far as I know, he doesn't case the houses first. It's like he's got a sixth sense or something, […] he just knows where to land, how to get in without getting caught, whether the owners have been naughty or nice. […]

[…] He gets in through the fireplace. I don't know how he does it, but that's probably what he's counting on, that nobody would think someone would just pop down the chimney, right into their living rooms. Everybody locks their doors and even their windows these days, but have you ever heard of anybody thinking to lock their chimneys? No one is safe, […] even those gas fireplaces with fake ceramic logs don't slow him down more than a second or two. […]

[…] when he's gotten what he came for, he just lays a finger aside of his nose, gives a nod, and up the chimney he goes. It's not natural, I tell you. […]

[…] By the time anyone's stirring, even a mouse, it's too late. Santa will already be flying out of sight exclaiming: 'Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!' Sheesh. What nerve. […]

[…] Santa can clean a place out in under a minute. Doesn't matter what it is: cookies, brownies, even milk and cake. Once he's into your house, it's as good as gone. […]

[…]The fact is, there's not much the police or even the FBI can do. Before they know what's happened, Santa will have crossed the border into international airspace. Even his secret stronghold - hidden somewhere near the North Pole - is outside of any nation's jurisdiction."
If you have any information that might lead to the arrest and conviction of Santa Claus or any other fugitive from justice, send it in along with whatever cash and credit cards you have in your wallet.
OK, so now you have been warned, beware!

Rattler


15M(ay): Noooobody! ...expects the Spanish Revolution!:
Update SEP 2011: Now reached US, called "Occupy Wall Street" and they claim they invented it. Thanks for learning from Spain!

Last edited by rattler; December 5th, 2011 at 20:08..
 
December 5th, 2011   #28
rattler
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFSteliga
Actually, he'd file his flight plan through North Bay FIC and get his clearance from Edmonton Center as it would be the closest controlled airspace he'd enter North America through.

Just thought I'd clarify the ATC side of things.
I got different information, seems he files through NORAD?

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/

Rattler

P.S.: Oops, double post, thought I was replying to a different thread (as I have them posts in different tabs), R.

Last edited by rattler; December 5th, 2011 at 20:18.. Reason: Oops
 
December 5th, 2011   #29
AFSteliga
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rattler
I got different information, seems he files through NORAD?

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/

Rattler

P.S.: Oops, double post, thought I was replying to a different thread (as I have them posts in different tabs), R.
He's tracked by NORAD, but files through FIC. He just makes sure to put "PADRA" in the remarks. (Pass to Air Defence Radar)
 
December 7th, 2011   #30
Julie
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 84RFK
The bad news is that Santa didn't show up the last couple of years, and will in fact never show up again, because I accidentally managed to torch his beard with a signal flare in 2006...
Sounds like there's a story behind it.
 



Similar Topics
Santa Claus came early to my house....
Santa Claus
Santa Claus is coming...
Santa Claus Shot Down by SA-15 Missile over Northern Iran