Topic: Rhode Island DMV Handbook

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May 10th, 2006   Post 1
tomtom22
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Post; Rhode Island DMV Handbook


This just in: New Regulations in the Rhode Island DMV Handbook:

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a distance between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.

4. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with NH, VT or ME plates. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and, in any case, are not enforceable during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a MASS driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. This is the home of high-speed slalom-driving thanks to the Department of Transportation, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is tradition to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

14. If traveling around Boston, remember that the goal of every driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

15. In Providence, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.

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May 10th, 2006   Post 2
bulldogg
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Nice.
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May 10th, 2006   Post 3
AJChenMPH
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Are you sure those are the RI regs, sir? Those sound an awful like the regs in NYC or Boston...
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May 10th, 2006   Post 4
tomtom22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AJChenMPH
Are you sure those are the RI regs, sir? Those sound an awful like the regs in NYC or Boston...
I'm from the Boston area. You think I'm gonna own up to this stuff? No way! You can change it to any state you like.
 
May 10th, 2006   Post 5
gigabrain
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tomtom22
I'm from the Boston area. You think I'm gonna own up to this stuff? No way! You can change it to any state you like.
so am i and i drive like thi..well i kinda....sorta....dont tell the staties!!!
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May 11th, 2006   Post 6
armlesscadet
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nice tom
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January 7th, 2007   Post 7
Team Infidel
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that's a good one
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