I don't want to be the person who starts this thread, but no one else wants to start it either...

How bad is it at this point? Can parents even do anything to their kids? I'm not a fan of corporal punishment, but at least implement SOME sort of punishment.

What does everyone else think?

Originally Posted by The Other Guy

I don't want to be the person who starts this thread, but no one else wants to start it either...

How bad is it at this point? Can parents even do anything to their kids? I'm not a fan of corporal punishment, but at least implement SOME sort of punishment.

What does everyone else think?

You rascal - you've done it! You are a brave lad. As it is just about the most important we have to deal with I will go away and think.

Originally Posted by The Other Guy

I don't want to be the person who starts this thread, but no one else wants to start it either...

How bad is it at this point? Can parents even do anything to their kids? I'm not a fan of corporal punishment, but at least implement SOME sort of punishment.

What does everyone else think?

I don't think the government should intervene unless the child is being abused. Spanking is not abusing...though I wouldn't be adverse to the idea that couples should perhaps have child rearing classes before giving birth. I'm not saying they'd have to rear that child by the book, but it might help some parents. I think sometimes people need to know they aren't alone in their different frustrations and not all parents want to spank a child - yet they still want them to listen and they don't know how to go about getting that result without the punishments.



I think depending on how it's used corporal punishment is a must with some kids. Time outs and little tasks don't always get the desired result. I do think however some parents are too liberal with their 'corporal' punishments and it doesn't leave the desired result if you don't back up that hand. (i.e. There is a little boy the boys are friends with who gets spanked with a wooden spoon -from what I hear- quite a bit and he is still a little brat and he doesn't listen at all. So how is spanking him helping?)

I've been babysitting for the same family for over 4 years and the parents have both given me permission to discipline as I see fit.

They are both (from things I hear from the kids) liberal in their physical punishments (spanking - never with a 'tool'). The listen to their father out of fear and the listen to their mother...ah...when she screams.

The kids are not afraid of me and I don't have to yell to get every little thing I asked them to do done. (Though I have certainly yelled at times). I have slapped one hand and one butt in 4 years.

I think sometimes a physical punishment is needed, within reason. For instance, when Connor was younger he was trying to stick the end of a spoon in a light socket. I took it away from him, he grabbed another one from the drawer and this went on three times. On the third time I slapped him on the hand. He has never tried it with me since.

It was just recently I slapped a butt (literally, one slap). Connor slammed his foot down on mine on purpose and got a smack on the behind for it. He's been doing things like that lately to his brother, Keri and sometimes to me. The time-outs weren't working. Finally I told him he does it again and he'll be getting like for like. I'll not have him being a bully.

I really think if some parents worked with their kids more, and upheld what they wanted done the first time and not the fifth, when they've lost patience and go straight to spanking that physical punishments would not be needed anywhere as much as they are used for some.

IMHO as a childless woman. lol.

Originally Posted by The Other Guy

I don't want to be the person who starts this thread, but no one else wants to start it either...

How bad is it at this point? Can parents even do anything to their kids? I'm not a fan of corporal punishment, but at least implement SOME sort of punishment.

What does everyone else think?

How bad is it?

well as Hesiod said back in 700 BC"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words. When I was a boy, we were taught to be discrete and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise and impatient of restraint."

This statement alone would indicate that little has changed in the perception of youth throughout history.


As to whether parents an do anything about about their kids well given that they are the only ones who really can do something you would hope so.

However I don't believe that youth are the problem, I see the problem lying squarely with parents and their lack of accountability (I once spoke to a man who told me that "he could not be responsible for what his 12 year old was doing at 2am" on a school night).

I am of the opinion that if the state started putting more emphasis on making parents responsible for the actions of their children there would be much less of an issue.

(I once spoke to a man who told me that "he could not be responsible for what his 12 year old was doing at 2am" on a school night).

That's really lame.

True. If something doesn't get done, don't reward the kid. And don't back down when (s)he whines and cries about it. Tough love, kid. Suck it up, and get things done the first time. Wait until you're 13, then you get more free reign.

Originally Posted by MontyB

However I don't believe that youth are the problem, I see the problem lying squarely with parents and their lack of accountability (I once spoke to a man who told me that "he could not be responsible for what his 12 year old was doing at 2am" on a school night).

I 100% agree.

And you gave a prime example of the problem!

Corporal punishment,... Why not?? So long as the punishment fits the crime. Some people respect nothing else. Until the 1960s my state had "birching" as a standard punishment for males committing crimes involving assault and battery. It was so rare as to make the front page of the paper, now they don't even report it unless the victim looks like dying.

Every case must be judged on it's merits. Different punishments work with different kids, recently a young teen in my town was found to be stealing other kids bikes. Apparently the miscreant had ideas of using the parts to make his own bike better. He went to court, and i don't know whathe got there, but when he came home amongst other things, his father gave him a hacksaw and made him cut his own bike into pieces small enough to fit in a 1 cub ft. cardboard box. which he then threw in the rubbish collection. I think it was very fitting punishment

as far as the raising of childresn goes, Im a firm believer of the biblical verse "spare the rod & hate the child" every kid needs a trip to the ole woodshed a few times if they have done somthing to merit that action.

Originally Posted by pixiedustboo

I 100% agree.

And you gave a prime example of the problem!

I second this. My girlfriend of 5 years tells me this almost every week and I agree with her every week because we both work with children. She's a 3rd grade teacher finishing her 3rd year and I work as a probations officer. If you instill the values and ethics in the kid early, physical punishment would never be a problem. I knew what line to cross with my parents and which one not to. I was always scared s**tless when my parents took away my Nintendo or forbade me to go to a friend's party or something.

Your parents obviously had the right idea and made it clear from the start what they expected of you. If they remained fair and consistent, then you knew where you stood and understood why.

I always noticed, at school, that the guys with the more violent type parents tended to be the worst behaved.

My mother-in-law, who was a firm parent who expected good behaviour, nevertheless always warned us when we became parents ourselves that the question of physical punishment had to approached very carefully indeed. As she said - you beat one devil out and two in! (she wasn't being literal - don't go there.) And as for dads, well they have to look forward to the day when they will not be able to win the physical argument. Persuasion required. Now and then I remember kidding my big boys "oh yes - well when you are big enough you will be too old (to challenge)". Not true - not even of my grandsons .

I believe that parents hold the key, which lies in the tender years, and that if you haven't passed on everything you need to by the time your children reach 18, then there is no more you can impart.

I realise well how difficult the teen years are, even amonst the best of kids, but if all else is equal, then this is a different matter, an adjustment in the relationship gradually required as the child prepares for adulthood and learns of confrontation between the best of friends, like Mum and daughter. This has become a very big problem lately because of the advancement of communication technology, the internet etc.

As Anthony Newley said " When you are the father of boys, you worry, Oh how you worry - but when you are the father of girls, you do more than that - you pray".

Parenthood is the very highest vocation.