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| Nuclear Duck Hunter ![]() | Post; Raising Boys1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy. 11) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12.) Super glue is forever. 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
__________________ “War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feelings which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.” —John Stuart Mill |
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| Tribuni Angusticlavii |
__________________ Some more words of wisdom from LIPS |
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| Milites Gregarius | number 24 is really funny!!! heck I wanna try it out now!
__________________ Gentlemen, when the enemy is committed to a mistake we must not interrupt him too soon. Horatio Nelson |
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| Chief Engineer ![]() |
__________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations |
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| Tribuni Angusticlavii | lol. i stopped reading and did number 24 without knowing 24 existed.
__________________ ![]() si deum nobiscum, quis contra? AS LONG AS DIXIE STILL EXISTS,THIS COUNTRY WILL NEVER FALL |
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| Milforum Chaplain | MIXING NOW |
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| Chief Engineer ![]() | Damn, what's all that smoke coming out of my computer?..... |
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| Tribunus Laticlavius | |
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| Milforum's Postmaster | Quote:
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| Tribunus Laticlavius | You aren't supposed to mix chemicals.... *eks.*
__________________ Is there more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking? Does Dark Have a Speed Too? http://www.myspace.com/doesdarkhaveaspeedtoo |
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