Topic: Raising Boys

U.S. Cavalry

FAQ/Rules - Search - Military Photo Gallery

  International Military Forums > Jokes and Humor Forums > Other jokes and humor stuff
User Name
Password

 
September 29th, 2005   Post 1
Missileer
Nuclear Duck Hunter
 
 
Gear

Post; Raising Boys


1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
__________________



“War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feelings which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.”
—John Stuart Mill
 
September 30th, 2005   Post 2
LIPS
Tribuni Angusticlavii
 
 
very good
__________________
Some more words of wisdom from LIPS
 
October 1st, 2005   Post 3
Fenrir
Milites Gregarius
 
number 24 is really funny!!! heck I wanna try it out now!
__________________
Gentlemen, when the enemy is committed to a mistake we must not interrupt him too soon.
Horatio Nelson
 
October 1st, 2005   Post 4
tomtom22
Chief Engineer
 
 
Gear

__________________
"It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations
 
October 1st, 2005   Post 5
behemoth79
Tribuni Angusticlavii
 
 
lol. i stopped reading and did number 24 without knowing 24 existed.
__________________


si deum nobiscum, quis contra?
AS LONG AS DIXIE STILL EXISTS,THIS COUNTRY WILL NEVER FALL
 
October 9th, 2005   Post 6
Padre
Milforum Chaplain
 
 
Gear

MIXING NOW
 
October 9th, 2005   Post 7
tomtom22
Chief Engineer
 
 
Gear

Damn, what's all that smoke coming out of my computer?.....
 
October 9th, 2005   Post 8
C/2nd Lt Robot
Tribunus Laticlavius
 
 
Yeap, I stopped reading after 8.
 
November 25th, 2007   Post 9
Team Infidel
Milforum's Postmaster
 
 
Gear



Quote:
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
yep...........
__________________
 
November 25th, 2007   Post 10
pixiedustboo
Tribunus Laticlavius
 
 
Gear

You aren't supposed to mix chemicals....

*eks.*
__________________
Is there more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
Does Dark Have a Speed Too?
http://www.myspace.com/doesdarkhaveaspeedtoo