Well i wrote a poem for this girl I like so before i send it to her I want to know what everyone thinks of it. Well here it is.

I cant help but feel blue,
Everytime I happen to think of you.
For as long as hes there,
I want to be anywhere.
Anywhere but here,
as long as you are his dear.
In my dreams it is you and me,
But dreams are all they will ever be.

You dont know how much you mean to me,
No one does since I keep it hidden where none can see.
You mean more than words can say,
And get more beautiful everyday.
Everytime I see your gorgeous face,
I cant help but go to an amazing place.
A place where its just you and me,
A place that we can be free.

All I ask for is a chance,
A small shot for some romance.
I know that I will treat you like the best,
And smile when I see you amongst the rest.
It's only you there that I see,
And no one else means anything to me.
I know you dont feel the same way,
But these are some things I just had to say.
You mean the world to me,
And I will always be here for you brittany.

Tell me what you think any comments or ideas would be greatly appreciated thnx

remove the word 'cuz. its supposed to be romant. cuz isnt a romantic word.
also, some advice. it looks like she already has a bf. dont you dare try to pry them apart. just let her know that you are first in line. i dont care what anyone else says, a man who does not respect that another man was there first does not deserve to be called a man. you let her come to you. if she decides that you are better than what she has, then best of luck to you. but dont go trying to break them up.

k i'll get rid of the cuz and no its not realy meant to break them up just to tell her how i feel

This is very useful advice, dont send it it wont get the reaction it deserves. People these days take everything for granted.

Listen to uncle Dougal he wouldnt knock you

its a very expressive poem, and its real good. everyone has been in a situation like that, and its tough, but dont let it get you down.

thnx im not sure if im gonna give it to her yet...i will just dont know when

Just make sure she is at least good friends with you, and if she doesnt really give a good response or whatever, I would refrain from sending her more.

Dougals right, don't send it mate.

What are you trying to do, woo her away from another guy?
That poem is not going to do the trick. It makes you sound desperate, which isn't an attractive quality to have.
Be a man of action, ask her on a date, don't send her a poem.

A place where we're together,
A place that will last forever.

This sounds stalkerish! how old are you? chances are she is not looking for something that will "last forever" and will just be put off by it.

And I will always be here for you brittany.

This line says "have other boyfriends and when things go wrong, feel free to come and complain about them to me, i will listen to all your problems and won't mind the fact that you see me as a friend, while i eternally lust after you - sorta like Ryan Reynolds at the start of "Just Friends"

Its a nice poem, its well meant, its from the heart but it wont give you the result you want.

WOW. Dude, you are 14?

Damn, such strong feelings for someone who is that young, I can even write this kind of stuff. Locke is right though it does make you look kind of stalkerish. I say you should find another girl. No point in writing her poems if she has a man already.

whoa i didn't realise you were 14

dont worry about a girl, not at your age (no offense) there should be too much fun to be had for you to be stressing.

develop you interests and hobbies and form a solid group of friends, the girls will come with age.