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July 1st, 2006
| Post 1 |
| Centurion | Post; New priestA new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door: 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook. 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the **** out of him. 9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10.We do not refer to the cross as the Big T! 11.When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me." 12.The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry". 13.The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God". and finally... 14.Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's. 
__________________ -In the grim darkness of a far future, There is only war.  __________________________________________  |
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July 1st, 2006
| Post 2 |
| Milforum Idol | aaaahahahahahahahahahahaha...thats great...ahahahahahahaha
__________________ C/1Lt Ret. Henderson "Life is a tragedy to those who feel, and a comedy to those who think."- Fortune Cookie |
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July 1st, 2006
| Post 3 |
| Milforum's Bouncer | Hahahahahaha
__________________ "The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental." - John Steinbeck |
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July 1st, 2006
| Post 4 |
| Chief Engineer  | My first cousin was a priest, and he almost pissed his pants when he read this one some years ago. (May he rest in peace)
__________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations  |
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July 1st, 2006
| Post 5 |
| Tribunus Laticlavius | hahahha. that was great! i loved it!
__________________ You can't scratch and salute at the same time! That's communist! - LTC Ivens Son, you got a panty on yo' head. - Raising Arizona |
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July 1st, 2006
| Post 6 |
| Primus Pilus | sounds like the priest we had at my old church.
__________________ And shepards we shall be For thee, My Lord, for thee Power hath descended forth from thy hand That our feet may quickly carry out thy command So we shall flow a river forth to thee And teeming with souls shall it ever be In nomini Patri, et Fili, Spiritus Sancti Veritas, Aequitas |
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January 7th, 2007
| Post 7 |
| Centurion | oh man thats great
__________________ I generally try to avoid temptation unless i cant resist  Between two evils i always pick the one i havent tried yet~Mae West |
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April 19th, 2007
| Post 8 |
| Milforum's Postmaster | hahahah great one
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