Living Will Form

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to
be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it. Nor in the hands of lawyers/doctors who are interested simply in running up the bills.



If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Very Large Cold Beer,

Bloody Mary,

Margarita,

Scotch and soda,

Martini,

Vodka and Tonic,

steak,

lobster or crab legs,

the remote control,

bowl of ice cream,

the sports page,

chocolate,

or sex

...it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and
attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

At this point, it is time to call a New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.


Signature: ___________________________

Date: ___________________________



I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors.

LOL How funny!!

Sounds good to me!

Hahaha...Im printing this one out. Save it for later in life and all that.

damn straight... that's my modus operandi for whenever I get hurt from now on. Oh, and just for old times' sake, they can just prop me up at the piano instead of shoving my ornery, mean, and decaying body into some cheap coffin.

I'd rather just be buried in the backyard right under the Mango tree. SO everytime folks eat the sweet mangos. They know that I made them sweet. That and I'm cheap, I don't want to pay for some damn funeral.

You got that right! Ever hear people actually plan their own funeral? Screw
that, I'm into the cheap style of going out. tie me to a couple of cinder blocks and set me out at Bayou Lucien at Marsh Island, and I'll do my family fishing fanatics one last favor by chumming.

thats great. im using it