• Down South" means Key West.
• "Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.
• You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.
  And no-one should be allowed to drive under 70 miles an hour.
• Flip-flops are everyday wear.
• Shoes are for business meetings and church.
• No, wait, flip flops are good for church too.
• Socks are only for bowling.
• Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit.
• Tap water makes you vomit.
• Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
• An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
• You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip to Florida.
• You measure distance in minutes.
  And no matter where you want to go, it's half an hour away.
• You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
• You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
• You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes anyway.
• All the local festivals are named after a fruit.
• A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
• A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
• Your winter coat is made of denim.
  Guilty as charged.
• You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
  Duh! Who can't?!
• You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
  This is so true.
• You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and Christmas.
• It's not "pop" or "soda". It's "coke". Even if i's Pepsi.
• Anything under 70 is chilly.
• You've hosted a hurricane party.
• You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides.
• You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.
• You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
• You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Okahumpka and Loxahatchee.
  Not to mention Thonotosassa, Ichetucknee and Wewahitchka -- and you know:
  • Which one is strictly for tourists.
  • Which one is best in hot weather.
  • Which one means 'two big eyes looking up at the sky'.
  • Which one is a rest stop.
    
• You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.
• You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
  And I'm always glad to see it, because even if I wanted to pull over to pee, there's nothing but guardrailed drainage canals for miles around.
• Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include various fish, the NRA and a confederate flag.
• You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.
  Not true. I've never lived in a house with a pool. Why have your own pool when the neighbors have one?
• You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
  Do I even *know* anyone who can't swim?
• You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
• You know what the "stingray shuffle" is and why it's important!
  And, sadly, that it doesn't work on sea urchins. Ow.
• You could swim before you could read.
• You have to drive north to get to The South.
• You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
  Especially the old Deco stores in South Hialeah and Miami Beach.
• Every other house had blue roofs in 2004-2005
  and 1992-1993-1994...
• You’ve gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark.
  Yup!
• You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
• You dread lovebug season.
• You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.
  And Andrew. *spit*
• You know what a snowbird is and you hate them.
• You know why flamingos are pink.
  Hee hee.
• You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
  And no local festival is complete without a Seminole Indian wrestling a gator.
• You were twelve before you ever saw snow, or you still haven't.

You know you're from Miami when...

• you live 15 minutes from the beach, but you never go
• the car behind you honks their horn because you stopped at a red light
• you know you can't get a job without speaking Spanish
• you instinctively buy gallons of water during hurricane season, just in case
• you're so used to craziness that very few things surprise you anymore
• you know never to buy mangos or avocados at a grocery store because you grow them in your backyard
  I had a huge mango tree in our backyard and our neighbor had enough avocado trees to bathe in guacamole. We also had a grapefruit tree, a navel orange tree, and a tangerine tree -- until the county came and took them away during yet another citrus canker eradication.
  
• your shrimp, lobster, and designer purses all come from one place: some guy's trunk in Hialeah
  LOL. I've never bought any of these for myself, being a guy and a fisherman before I could drive.
• you have to put on the invitations "starts at 2:30pm " when the event really starts at 3:30pm just so people actually get there on time.
  Or you've shown up at 7:00pm when the invitation said 7:00pm, and the host was almost as confused as you were.

And some of my own: you know Miami Spanglish if...

• You invite friends to "pass by" instead of "come over".
• Nothing you can buy at Starbucks will ever be as sabroso como una colada de café, or as cheap.
• You've pointed at something and asked ¿Quejeso?
• This example makes perfect sense: "I shared a duplex con my familia but other amigos I knew rentaron un efiche. They had to pagar casi the same and had solo one cuarto! Days después I got mi tarjeta con el número del Social and a few semanas later pude landear un better job."
• And even if you don't know proper Spanish, you've learned how to pronounce cafetería, and you know what you'll find in a carnecería, in a mueblería, and in a ferretería.

those are great... and yes.. i used to live in florida

nice one lol

You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.
And no-one should be allowed to drive under 70 miles an hour.


Teenagers in general...These are great. Even though I'm not from Florida...I have family down there, and visit a lot...

oh yeah most of those are right and i use to wear flip flops to church lol and to school oh also u dont get yelled at if you take your shoes off while sitting in you school lol you also go out and play in the rain during "small" hurricanes lol

only small ones? lol...you should have seen the people that was out in katrina. lol that was one of the biggest louisiana's gotten since andrew...said it would have been a 6 if the scale went past five lol

All I know is you have crazy drivers down there. My cousin lives there, and when he came up he was going like 50 through the middle of a small town street, catching air off the bumps.

Originally Posted by major liability

All I know is you have crazy drivers down there. My cousin lives there, and when he came up he was going like 50 through the middle of a small town street, catching air off the bumps.

50? Boo. I did 75 down my neighborhood...(you didn't hear it from me though...) *shifty eyes*

And you know what a "noseeum" is. I am from Florida, north of Tampa (Go Gators - Bucs!), a town named Crystal River, it was always funny to me how many relatives would visit and complaint about the mosquitoes and sand gnats (no see ums, flying teeth, etc) yet they would mostly leave us natives alone (the insects not the relatives).

You also may be from Florida if you see your out of state relatives once a year but have never been to their house.

You're right Henderson, New York drivers are worse, especially when we go a buck twenty in a 45 and run on the police.