About A Marine, a Navy SEAL, and an Army Ranger get captured
|December 30th, 2004||#1|
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A Marine, a Navy SEAL, and an Army Ranger get captured info
Three U.S. soldiers were on a special ops mission deep in the jungles of South America. The three man team consisted of one Marine, one Navy SEAL, and one Army Ranger. The team was on patrol and was captured by a band of headhunters. The headhunters took the team back to the village to stand trial for trespassing on sacred grounds.
The three men were tied up and placed in the middle of the village to be questioned by the chief headhunter. The first to be questioned was the Marine.
"You have been found guilty of trespassing and will be executed. We will use your skin for canoes, your bones for weapons, and your meat to feed our people. Do you have any last requests?" the chief asked.
"Yeah," the Marine replied. " I want my rucksack".
"Your rucksack?" the chief replied.
"Yes, my rucksack."
The chief gave the Marine the rucksack. The Marine opened it and pulled out a .45 pistol. He then shot himself in the head
"We can still use his body," the chief said. He then turned to the SEAL and asked if he had any last requests.
"Yeah. Give me my dog tag chain," the SEAL said.
When the chief handed him the chain, the SEAL opened a locket on the chain, took out a cyanide pill and swallowed it. Within 30 seconds he was dead.
"That's alright," the chief said. "We can still use his body."
He then turned to the Ranger and asked him if he had any last request.
"Give me my mess kit," replied the Ranger.
"Your mess kit?" the chief asked, thinking that this was an odd final request.
"Yeah, jackass. My mess kit," said the Ranger.
When the chief handed the Ranger the mess kit, the Ranger opened it and took out his fork.
"Look here chief," the Ranger said, " you might be able to use my bones to make weapons for your people. You might be able to use my meat to feed your people. But," the Ranger said as he began stabbing himself all over his own chest, " to Hell with your damn canoes!"
-Victory is mine
-Yes but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you
-Oh. Mmm, yes, this is better than *sex*, it\'s like an orgy in my mouth; good news Flappy, I\'ve decided not to kill you
-Damn you, damn the broccoli, and damn the Wright Brothers.
-How ironic ? Rogers - it almost rhymes with... eliminate.
|January 9th, 2005||#3|
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Now that was funny
I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which in truth, they are.
Gen. W.T. Sherman
|April 11th, 2007||#7|
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Hahaha I like that
GOD, give us men! A time like this demands Strong minds, great hearts, true faith and ready hands... -Josiah Gilbert Holland