About A load of Taliban
|September 28th, 2011||#1|
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A load of Taliban info
The Royal Marines have been infiltrating our organisation says the leader.
Therefore we must be extra vigilant and increase our security.
They all nod and agree.
The first patrol tonight will be Omar Abdul Ishim and Dave Smith
|September 28th, 2011||#2|
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At the Pearly Gates info
The First Sea Lord, The Air Chief Marshall and an Royal Marine RSM all die and go to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates, St Peter informs them that only one of them can get in. However, each will be allowed to state his case before God infront of the other two. The best argument wins.
The First Sea Lord goes first: "I have commanded thousands of men and women, held ships crew's lives in my hands. I have ensured that the food is good, the clothing is acceptable and none of them have gone without. The ships spend only 4 months at sea, and 2 years in refit so the boys and girls can see their families".
God in His chair nods his appreciation.
The Air Chief Marshal steps up: "I have a budget of billions every year in which I make sure the best aircraft have been bought. I have life and death powers over the servicemen and women of the RAF and have plowed millions into making the RAF's accomadation the best in the armed forces that evryone is jealous about, I make sure RAF bases are nowhere near a combat zone but that they still get a medal for their efforts playing volleyball".
God smiles appreciatively at this.
The RSM steps up: "Oi! You!" he shouts at God, "Get out of my chair!"
|September 29th, 2011||#3|
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"We are judged in life for the evil we destroy and we are judged equally for the illumination we bring to the blackest nights."
|October 29th, 2011||#7|
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In the same vein.
How many Brits here remember the TV series “It ain't half hot mum.”
Windsor Davies who played the Battery Sergeant Major “SHUT UP” Williams played his character to a "T" exactly like a real BSM. He was on a TV talk show and was asked if he based his character on a real person.
Windsor Davies replied that he based his character on his own RSM while being demobbed after WW2. The RSM was wandering up and down the queue of troops when he saw a chap in Jungle Greens wearing his bush hat. The RSM wandered over to him and asked, “WHO THE F^%& DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, ROY ROGERS?” he approached another soldier who snapped to attention, the RSM bellowed, “STAND TO ATTENTION YOU SCRUFFY LITTLE MAN, YOUR RIGHT THUMB IN LINE WITH THE SEAM OF YOUR TROUSERS.” The soldier said, “I can't Sir, I was wounded at Dunkirk and my hand is partially paralyzed. The RSM's voice softened, “I'm sorry to hear that lad.” Then bellowed “ BUT THAT DON'T STOP YOU CLEANING YOUR FINGER NAILS DOES IT?”
I try to be the man my dog thinks I am.
Last edited by BritinAfrica; October 29th, 2011 at 10:57..
|October 30th, 2011||#8|
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Sadly they don't make shows like that anymore nor do they re-run them
Everybody thinks they’re gonna get a chance to punch some Nazi in the face at Normandy and those days are over, they are long gone.
Last edited by Mr KillKill; October 30th, 2011 at 04:49..