Topic: The legless parrot

tomtom22 · March 6th, 2006

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot ??"

The parrot says, "I was born! this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $20000 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

armlesscadet · March 6th, 2006

Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marinerhodes · March 7th, 2006

Ahahaha!!!

AFSteliga · March 7th, 2006

Hahahaha

AmericanSweetheart · March 7th, 2006

great....!

Navy Boy · March 7th, 2006

Now that's what I call bird talk.

Fox · March 7th, 2006

Lol!!!!!!

CrazyLilCajun · October 18th, 2007

Hahahaha....

Team Infidel · October 18th, 2007

that's funny

Sevens · October 19th, 2007

Hehehe Nice.

March 6th, 2006	Post 1
tomtom22 Chief Engineer Gear	Post; The legless parrot *A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot ??"* *The parrot says, "I was born! this way. I'm a defective parrot."* *"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"* *"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."* *"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"* *"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."* *"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"* "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion." *The guy looks at the $20000 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."* *"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"* *The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.* *Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.* One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman." *"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.* *"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."* *"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"* *"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.* *"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"* *"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."* *Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"* *"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"* __________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations Last edited by tomtom22; March 6th, 2006 at 23:20.

March 6th, 2006	Post 2
armlesscadet duke of milforum slayer	Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ C/1stSgt AFJROTC Death smiles at us all. The US Marine smiles back

March 7th, 2006	Post 4
AFSteliga Cadet Moderator Gear	Hahahaha __________________ Pte K. Steliga Canadian Forces School of Aerospace Control Operations QL3 0027 Per ardua ad astra

March 7th, 2006	Post 5
AmericanSweetheart Primus Pilus Gear	great....! __________________ I have the toughest Job in the Corps.....Putting up with a Marine!

March 7th, 2006	Post 6
Navy Boy I LOVE THE ARMY!!!!!! Gear	Now that's what I call bird talk. __________________ This is Vice Admiral J. Kevin Moran Semper Fortis

March 7th, 2006	Post 7
Fox Can you hear me now? Gear	Lol!!!!!! __________________ Why should I have to "Press 1 for English?" --Every American

October 18th, 2007	Post 8
CrazyLilCajun Milforum Cowgirl Gear	Hahahaha.... __________________ "Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway. " - John Wayne

October 18th, 2007	Post 9
Team Infidel Milforums Spamkiller Gear	that's funny __________________

October 19th, 2007	Post 10
Sevens Forum Brat Gear	Hehehe Nice. __________________ I tried being good, but I got bored...... Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.

Topic: The legless parrot

Post; The legless parrot