Topic: Lawyers

tomtom22 · October 17th, 2005

Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge then asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said,

"If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."

C/2nd Lt Robot · October 17th, 2005

I don't want to know what the judge did.

CDTGaticaW201 · October 17th, 2005

I chuckled

Ryan17 · October 17th, 2005

good one!!

bulldogg · October 17th, 2005

HA!

Missileer · October 17th, 2005

Don't mess with old ladies.

Navy Boy · October 17th, 2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by C/2nd Lt Robot

I don't want to know what the judge did.

Me nether lol.

xander · October 20th, 2005

lol

Team Infidel · June 26th, 2007

hahahaha

October 17th, 2005	Post 1
tomtom22 Chief Engineer Gear	Post; Lawyers Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died. The judge then asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt." __________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations

October 17th, 2005	Post 2
C/2nd Lt Robot Tribunus Laticlavius	I don't want to know what the judge did. __________________ C/Capt "Robot", CAP (ret) NBB '06 Alpha Flight NBB '07 Delta Flight

October 17th, 2005	Post 5
bulldogg Milforum's Bouncer Gear	HA! __________________ "The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental." - John Steinbeck

October 17th, 2005	Post 6
Missileer Nuclear Duck Hunter Gear	Don't mess with old ladies. __________________ “War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feelings which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.” —John Stuart Mill

October 20th, 2005	Post 8
xander Centurion	lol __________________ \"SemperFi,Do Or Die! GungHo,GungHo,GungHo! What Makes The Grass Grow? Blood,Blood,Blood! What Do We Do For A Living,Ladies? Kill,Kill,Kill!\".

October 17th, 2005	Post 3
CDTGaticaW201 Centurion	I chuckled

June 26th, 2007	Post 9
Team Infidel Milforums Spamkiller Gear	hahahaha __________________

Topic: Lawyers

Post; Lawyers