You know you're a cop when:

• You believe that 50% of people are a waste of good air.
• Your idea of a good time is a "man with a gun" call.
• You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you.
• You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills.
• You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.
• You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
• You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: "Suicide...getting it right the first time."
• You believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow more than a .15
• You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around.
• Anyone has ever said to you, "There are people killing other people out there and you are here messing with me."
• You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body.
• You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession.
• You walk into places and people think it's high comedy to grab their buddy and shout, "They've come to get you, Bill."
• People shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room and think they're being hugely funny and original.
• A week's worth of laundry consists of 5 T-shirts, 5 pairs of socks, and 5 pairs of underwear.
• You've ever referred to Tuesday as "my weekend", or "this is my Friday".
• You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet tonight."
• You find humor in other people's stupidity.

Very nice!!