Topic: You know yer in a Texas church when...

U.S. Cavalry

FAQ/Rules - Search - Military Photo Gallery

  International Military Forums > Jokes and Humor Forums > Other jokes and humor stuff
User Name
Password

 
November 21st, 2005   Post 1
bulldogg
Milforum's Bouncer
 
 
Gear


Post; You know yer in a Texas church when...


People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.

The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up.

The restrooms are outside.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

When it rains, everyone is smiling.

Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.

The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale".

The pastor wears boots.

Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.

There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.

Baptism is referred to as "branding".

There is a special fund raiser for a new septic tank.

Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.

People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.

People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy.

The final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"
__________________
"The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental." - John Steinbeck
 
November 21st, 2005   Post 2
tomtom22
Chief Engineer
 
 
Gear



__________________
"It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations
 
November 21st, 2005   Post 3
Damien435
Tribunus Laticlavius
 
 
Gear

lol
__________________
Please note that 98% of what I say is my opinion and/or my "version" of the facts. Most of what I say is rumor with little to no evidence to back it up, just something I picked up somewhere.

My City
 
November 21st, 2005   Post 4
Padre
Milforum Chaplain
 
 
Gear

 
November 22nd, 2005   Post 5
bigcanada813
Canuckus Maximus
 
 
Gear

__________________
"I find your lack of faith disturbing."
 
November 22nd, 2005   Post 6
NCdt Steliga
Cadet Moderator
 
 
Gear


__________________
Pte K. Steliga
Canadian Forces School of Aerospace Control Operations
QL3 0027

Per ardua ad astra
 
November 22nd, 2005   Post 7
Italian Guy
Milforum Hitman
 
 
Gear

__________________
"Freedom is the sure possession of those alone who have the courage to defend it".
Pericles.


 
November 23rd, 2005   Post 8
Navy Boy
I LOVE THE ARMY!!!!!!
 
 
Gear

__________________
This is Vice Admiral J. Kevin Moran

Semper Fortis