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| I LOVE THE ARMY!!!!!! | Post; JokeThe day finally arrives; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven." Forrest responds, "It shor is good, to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I shor hope that the Test ain't too hard, life was a big enough test, as it was." St. Peter continued to say, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?" Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day, and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and said, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers." Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow." The Saint's eyes opened wide, and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter. "How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk, and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve. "Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? How in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?" Forrest replied, "Shucks, there has got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind... but I will have to give you credit, for that one, too. Let us go on, with the third, and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"? "Sure", Forrest replied, "it's Andy." Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world, did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?" "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song. "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, "ANDY TALKS WITH ME, "ANDY TELLS ME, I AM HIS OWN. . "St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."
__________________ This is Vice Admiral J. Kevin Moran ![]() Semper Fortis Last edited by Navy Boy; December 11th, 2005 at 22:40. |
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| Chief Engineer ![]() | Sorry, Navy Boy, that has been posted before: Forest Gump Goes To Heaven Please do a search before you post using one word not likely to be used in another joke, for example, 'Andy' and see what you get.
__________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations |
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| I LOVE THE ARMY!!!!!! | O.K. fine Ill do that. Last edited by Navy Boy; December 12th, 2005 at 13:25. |
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| Cadet Moderator ![]() | Funny.
__________________ Pte K. Steliga Canadian Forces School of Aerospace Control Operations QL3 0027 Per ardua ad astra |
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| Milforum Cowgirl | hahaha...cute....
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| Milforums Spamkiller | nice.........
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| Caesar | funny..............
__________________ "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." |
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