About To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
|March 3rd, 2009||#1|
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To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah) info
To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST
I was the white guy with the Red Detroit Red Wings jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my Wife. You also asked for my Wife's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.
I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my Wife had just bought me that Kimberly 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your Credit Card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the
cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.
I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.
So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.
If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!
Master Sergeant of Marines (Retired)
Master Sergeant H. T. Huchil
A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to, and including his life." That is honor, and there are way to many people in this country today, who no longer understand that fact!
"It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations
|March 3rd, 2009||#5|
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"The willingness with which our young people are likely to serve in any war, no matter how justified, is directly proportional to how they perceive the veterans of earlier wars were treated and appreciated." ~George Washington