In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more

than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every

minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate

and that there must be something he was doing wrong.

Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man

seated at the bar that had the reputation of being the fastest gun in

the West in his day.


The young cowboy took a seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink,

and told him the story of his great ambition. "Do you think you could

give me some tips?" he asked.


The old man looked him up!and down and said, "Well, for one thing,

you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a lil' lower down on

your leg."Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young

man.


"Sure will," said the old-timer.

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the

bow tie off the piano player. "That's terrific!" said the cowboy.

"Got any more tips for me?"


"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer

hits it.

That'll give you a smoother draw."


"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.


"You bet it will," said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur,

then shot a cufflink off the piano player.


"Wow!" said the cowboy. "I'm learning' somethin' here. Got any more tips?"

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See

that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it." The young man

went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.


"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all."


"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.


"No," said the old-timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the Piano, he's going to shove that gun up your ass and it won't hurt as much.