Golfing

tomtom22

Chief Engineer
A golfer was in a competitive match with a friend, who was ahead by a couple of strokes.

"Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt", the golfer mumbled to himself.

Just then, a stranger walked up beside him and whispered, "Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?"

Thinking the man was crazy and his answer would be meaningless, the golfer also felt that maybe this was a good omen.

So he said, "Sure!", and easily sank the putt.

Two holes later, our golfer mumbled to himself again, "Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one."

The same stranger was at his side again, and whispered, "Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?"

Shrugging, the golfer replied, "Okay."

And he made the eagle.

On the final hole, the golfer needed another eagle to win.

Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moved to his side and whispered, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?"

"Definitely!", the golfer replied, and he made that eagle.

As the golfer was walking to the club house, the stranger walked alongside him and said, "I haven't really been fair with you, because you don't know who I am. I'm Satan, and from this day forward you will have no sex life."

"Nice to meet you", the golfer replied. "I'm Father O'Malley."

:evil:
 
Since we're on the topic...

Father O'Malley and Tom were out golfing one, bright, beautiful and sunny day -- not a cloud in the sky. On the 3rd hole, Tom slid a 6-foot putt for par off to the right. "Damn, missed again," he muttered. Father O'Malley said nothing.

On the 8th hole, Tom missed another fairly short putt, this time to the left. "Damn, missed again," he said, this time with a bit more vehemence. Father O'Malley gave him a stern look, but said nothing.

On the 12th hole, Tom did it again. "Damn, missed again!" he cursed. This time, Father O'Malley had had enough.

"Look," he said. "I've had enough of your cursing. Do it again, and I'll call upon the Lord to strike you down."

Yeah, yeah, thought Tom, and he kept on playing. Things were fine until the 18th hole, when Tom had a 4-foot putt for birdie. He putted, and the ball came right up to the hole and just sat on the lip, refusing to drop in.

Tom sank to his knees. "Damn, damn, damn! Missed again!"

Suddenly, dark clouds rolled in from nowhere and the winds picked up. To Tom's utter amazement, a lightning bolt zapped out past him and struck Father O'Malley. As Tom looked on in disbelief, the clouds pulled back to show the sun once more, and a voice boomed from the Heavens:

"Damn...missed again!"
 
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