Topic: God Created

U.S. Cavalry

FAQ/Rules - Search - Military Photo Gallery

  International Military Forums > Jokes and Humor Forums > Other jokes and humor stuff
User Name
Password

 
January 9th, 2007   Post 1
tomtom22
Chief Engineer
 
 
Gear

Post; God Created


In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good" And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.
__________________
"It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations
 
January 9th, 2007   Post 2
Padre
Milforum Chaplain
 
 
Gear

ha ha great one Tomtom - my how we have all fallen (burp)

 
January 9th, 2007   Post 3
Sevens
Forum Brat
 
 
Gear

Another good one, tomtom!
__________________
All I want is for one guy to prove to me that they're not all the same.......

Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.
 
January 9th, 2007   Post 4
weed
Optio
 
 
Good one!
 
January 9th, 2007   Post 5
phoenix80
Banned
 
 
Gear




very funny... thnx 4 it
 
September 23rd, 2007   Post 6
Team Infidel
Milforum's Postmaster
 
 
Gear







__________________
 
September 23rd, 2007   Post 7
NCdt Steliga
Cadet Moderator
 
 
Gear


Hahaha. Very good one.
__________________
Pte K. Steliga
RMC/CMR
Cadet Wing Quartermaster

Per ardua ad astra
 



Similar Threads
GOD & St Francis
The creator
Letters to God from kids
And God Said...
cool quotes.