George Carlins Baseball Vs. Football

About George Carlins Baseball Vs. Football


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July 29th, 2004   #1
Jacob
 
 

George Carlins Baseball Vs. Football info


Found this on another BBS. I think its kinda funy.
Injoy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by george Carlins
I enjoy comparing baseball and football:

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park.The baseball park!
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?

In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.

And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
 
July 29th, 2004   #2
FutureRANGER
 
 
I like it. Good find
 
July 29th, 2004   #3
Darkmb101
 
Cool, football rules 8)


on a permanent vacation....will visit every now and then. see arcade
hidden message!!! Life is short and pointless, be happy and live it.
 
August 21st, 2004   #4
silent driller
 
 
Ah, the gridiron...POUND HIM!!! POUND HIIIIM!!! SLUG HIS FAT!!! YEEEEEEAH!!!...yes, the gridiron...


Whatever was sufficient to get us to this point is insufficient to get us any further.
 
August 28th, 2004   #5
Focus Fate
 
I LOVE George Carlin, he is the man, I have this on MP3


\"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.\"

\"I\'ve suffered just so I could return harder\" - Gangstarr

Semper Fi
 
January 6th, 2007   #6
Team Infidel
 
 
That's pretty good.


 
January 6th, 2007   #7
Sevens
 
 
How funny.


Not liking me will always be your problem. Never mine.
 
January 6th, 2007   #8
tomtom22
 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Focus Fate
I LOVE George Carlin, he is the man
Me too!


"It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations