Topic: Feelings..... :)

U.S. Cavalry

FAQ/Rules - Search - Military Photo Gallery

  International Military Forums > Jokes and Humor Forums > Other jokes and humor stuff
User Name
Password

 
January 17th, 2008   Post 1
Team Infidel
Milforum's Postmaster
 
 
Gear



Post; Feelings..... :)


One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least
she knows I'm smarter than her.
__________________
 
January 17th, 2008   Post 2
Sevens
Forum Brat
 
 
Gear

Nice.
__________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan says, "Oh no......She's awake!!!"

Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.
 
January 17th, 2008   Post 3
The Other Guy
Spam King
 
 
Gear

oohh!! that's perfect!
__________________
"What about a Guest Host?"
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."
 
January 17th, 2008   Post 4
tomtom22
Chief Engineer
 
 
Gear

Posted before: Mars & Venus
__________________
"It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations
 



Similar Threads
Anti-war mom Cindy Sheehan gives up her protest
Good feelings in Kosovo
Hughes says it could take decades to alter anti-American feelings
Serbs show divided feelings as Milosevic is buried
Your Feelings on Ricky Williams "early" retirement