"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
~ Tom Clancy
You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.
~ Steve Martin
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
~ Woody Allen
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
~ Rodney Dangerfield
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL."
~ Lynn Lavner
Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
~ Matt Barry
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
~ George Burns
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
~ George Burns
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
~ Sharon Stone
My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she's reading."
~ Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it., so I said "Thyroid problem?'"
~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
~ Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)
Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
~ Robin Williams
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
~ Roseanne
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
~ Billy Crystal
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men
are just grateful."
~ Robert De Niro
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
~ Dustin Hoffman
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.
~ Jerry Seinfeld
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
~ Rod Stewart
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
~ Robin Williams
Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.
~ Jeff Foxworthy
AND ONE OF MY FRIENDS WROTE - I HAVE A FRIEND WHO IS NOW 96, WHEN SHE WAS 70 SHE SAID "IT'S LIKE TRYING TO STUFF MARSHMALLOWS IN A PIGGY BANK".

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