Topic: English Cricket

LIPS · July 28th, 2005

Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They
both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball
almost always takes a wicket? A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder.

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones
have over the rest of their team-mates? A. At least they can say they're
not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name? A. A
bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English
batsmen? A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.

Locke · July 28th, 2005

LOOOOOL

wife of lips · July 29th, 2005

GOOD ONE

LeEnfield · August 5th, 2005

I think that some of the commentators remarks are the best. Do you remember the one that was about the The Jamaican Holding and English player Willy..The commentator came out with the line The Bowler is Holding the Batsman, Willy.

tomtom22 · January 14th, 2007

Team Infidel · January 31st, 2007

good one.

Sevens · January 31st, 2007

Very nice!!!!!

July 28th, 2005	Post 1
LIPS Tribuni Angusticlavii	Post; English Cricket Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason Q. What is the height of optimism? A. An English batsman applying sunscreen. Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket? A. A bat. Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman? A. An allrounder. Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates? A. At least they can say they're not really English. Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick? A. Three runs in three balls. Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name? A. A bowler. Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen? A. The walk back to the pavilion. Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad? A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats. Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player? A. Because he was born in England. Q. What does "Ashes" stand for? A. Another Sad Horrific English Series. Q. What's the English version of LBW? A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped. Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team? A. The person who ironed the cricket whites. __________________ Some more words of wisdom from LIPS

July 28th, 2005	Post 2
Locke Tribuni Angusticlavii	LOOOOOL __________________ If I am asked what we are fighting for, I can reply in two sentences. In the first place, to fulfil a solemn international obligation . . . an obligation of honor which no self-respecting man could possibly have repudiated. I say, secondly, we are fighting to vindicate the principle that small nationalities are not to be crushed in defiance of international good faith at the arbitrary will of a strong and overmastering Power. Author: Rt. Hon. Herbert Henry Asquith Source: Statement, to House of Commons, Declaration of War with Germany, Aug. 4, 1914

July 29th, 2005	Post 3
wife of lips Optio	GOOD ONE __________________ \"LIFE WITHOUT KIDS IS LIFE WITHOUT LAUGHTER\"

August 5th, 2005	Post 4
LeEnfield Tribuni Angusticlavii Gear	I think that some of the commentators remarks are the best. Do you remember the one that was about the The Jamaican Holding and English player Willy..The commentator came out with the line The Bowler is Holding the Batsman, Willy. __________________ LeEnfield Rides again

January 14th, 2007	Post 5
tomtom22 Chief Engineer Gear	__________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations

January 31st, 2007	Post 6
Team Infidel Milforum's Postmaster Gear	good one. __________________

January 31st, 2007	Post 7
Sevens Forum Brat Gear	Very nice!!!!! __________________ Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan says, "Oh no......She's awake!!!" Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.

Topic: English Cricket

Post; English Cricket