Don't Fart in Bed...

About Don't Fart in Bed...


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November 11th, 2006   #1
tomtom22
 
 

Don't Fart in Bed... info


If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you!

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when
he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.

"But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."


"It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations
 
November 11th, 2006   #2
Sevens
 
 
Ewwww!!! Wrong!!!! LOL


Not liking me will always be your problem. Never mine.
 
November 11th, 2006   #3
Fox
 
 
Omfg!!!!!!!! Lmao!!!!!!!!


I shall return-

General Douglas MacArthur
 
November 11th, 2006   #4
Rob Henderson
 
 
no way!!! Awww man..Thats wrong on soo many different levels...
 
November 11th, 2006   #5
JulesLee
 
 
OHHHHHH MANNNNNN SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! @x@
 
November 11th, 2006   #6
Padre
 
 
YUK, PEW, but somehow funny.


 
November 11th, 2006   #7
Team Infidel
 
 
that is sooooo nasty..


 
November 11th, 2006   #8
MilidarUSMC
 
 
LOL what an unfortunate twist at the end, excuse me now while i puke.


\"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don\'t have that problem.\" Ronald Reagan 1985
 
November 12th, 2006   #9
Rob Henderson
 
 
Go right ahead, Mildar...
 
November 12th, 2006   #10
AFSteliga
 
 
Good thing I've got a strong stomach...


MCpl K. Steliga
Ground Controller
Wing Operations/Air Traffic Control
14 Wing Greenwood
Royal Canadian Air Force

Per ardua ad astra
 



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