Why dogs are like children or men. You know your dog has become a child or boyfriend substitute when you notice the following:
Your bed sheets are constantly dirty, greasy or covered in drool.
Your dog gets more covers than you do.
Your dog takes up more room in the bed than you do.
You consider getting a bigger bed so the dog will have more room.
You dog's social schedule stresses you more than your own.
You wake up at night to comfort your dog when it has a bad dream.
When some one ask you if you want to get married someday, you think "if I can find a man that will sleep in a different bed, the dog takes up to much room!"
You find yourself constantly saying any of the following:
"Go to sleep" every second of every day.
"Get the hell off me"
"Keep your tongue to yourself1"
"Don't lick me there!"
"What have you gotten into now?!"
"Don't bring that in here!"
"Where the hell did you find that at?"
"Don't touch me there!"
"Stay out of the laundry!"
"Why in God's Holy name are you in the trash?!"
"Quit looking at me like that!"
"You have your own bed, use yours not mine!"
"Must you scratch yourself in MY bed?"
"Stay out of my plate, you have food'
"Go back to sleep, it's only seven"
"GO TO YOUR ROOM!"
"GET IN HERE!"
"Your stinky your getting a bath before you go to bed, even if I have to bathe you myself!"
"Honey could you get any dirtier next time?"
"Don't put THAT in your mouth!"
"Hey Mr. Mr. DROP IT!!"
"BRING THAT HERE!"
"Don't pull on me"
"Your Heavy"
"I need a break"
"Your drivin me CRAZY!"
"Don't get under my feet."
"Watch the toenails!"
"You're makin me bleed"
"SCOOT OVER"

Top ten things you can/should only say to your dog.
10. I don’t want you, go GET your sister!
9. Where’s your ball?
8. What have You got:~O
7. Quit licking yourself!
6. Bring me back my underwear.
5. Were you chewing on my socks?
4. Damnit it don’t play/bite so hard
3. Why in God’s Holy name are you so itchy?
2. Give me that bone!
The number one thing you should only ever say to your dog.
1. You’re the queerest bitch on the face of the Earth!

Don't forget:

"Stop chasing that!"

That was funny!

lmao

ROTFLMAO

LadyHawk

**Future Marine Corp Mom**

LOL funny