deployed soldiers cheating wife

shayz081001

New Member
Could someone help with some information please?
My brother is in the Army and currently in Iraq but stationed in Texas and his home town is in Mass.
So,he got married in Sept of 2008 in Mass and just found out that his wife has been cheating on him with some civilian since he has been in Iraq.
He has an email she wrote apologizing for cheating and how she cant change whats already happened yada yada yada....
So what he is trying to find out is can he divorce her based on her adultery and is this email helpful as proof and is he still required to give her this BAH money? She keeps instant messaging him and telling him she wont start divorce proceedings until she gets money!
He is so stressed out and angry over there that he's determined to do prison time if the military trys to make him pay her anything now!! How long would a divorce take and can he start it while he's over there even? And does this sound like it will be difficult for him and she will come out ahead or what??
ANY info would be greatly appreciated!!!
The whole family is new to this military stuff since he joined and I'm afraid we are all feeling very stupid and don't know what websites give valid information on this stuff, let alone understanding any of it!!
I won't have access to come back to this site for a while so would you please email instead?
My email is Shayz081001@aol.com
Thanks again for any help on this issue
Sherri,
Sister to a betrayed brother :(
 
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Could someone help with some information please?
My brother is in the Army and currently in Iraq but stationed in Texas and his home town is in Mass.
So,he got married in Sept of 2008 in Mass and just found out that his wife has been cheating on him with some civilian since he has been in Iraq.
He has an email she wrote apoligizing for cheating and how she cant change whats already happened yada yada yada....
So what he is trying to find out is can he divorce her based on her adultry and is this email helpful as proof and is he still required to give her this BAH money? She keeps instant messaging him and telling him she wont start divorce proceedings until she gets money!
He is so stressed out and angry over there that he's determinded to do prison time if the military trys to make him pay her anything now!! How long would a divorce take and can he start it while he's over there even? And does this sound like it will be difficult for him and she will come out ahead or what??
ANY info would be greatly appreciated!!!
The whole family is new to this military stuff since he joined and I'm afraid we are all feeling very stupid and don't know what websites give valid information on this stuff, let alone understanding any of it!!
I won't have access to come back to this site for a while so would you please email instead?
My email is Shayz081001@aol.com
Thanks again for any help on this issue
Sherri,
Sister to a betrayed brother :(

He really only needs to go see the legal Officer of his unit. He will help him proceed. If they get divorced and have no children all allowances for Dependants will be cut off. Depending on the state they live in there will probably be no alimony. He needs to see the Legal Officer as soon as possible, believe it or not the military will help him. Since this is not that uncommon in the military they know their stuff.
 
Yeah good luck.
If there's any good news to be said, the military has a lot of experience dealing with this particular scenario so they'll know what to do.
 
Best thing for him to do is get adivce from JAG while he is here in Iraq... (yes, I am here as well)...

He won't be able to file until he get's back, but what he needs to do now is, open a new bank account and move his entire paycheck over to it. Once there, he has to set up an allotment to get his spouce BAH. That's the legal thing...

He also needs to enroll in LifeLock and lock down his credit. He will also need to watch it like a hawk.

Biggest thing... he needs to go talk to JAG.
 
First he should do it´s sending her a photo where he is wearing a viking helmet with the biggest horns he can find and a dental teeth brush spot smile and all his friends pointing their thumbs up, then in the letter let her know how much he thanks that wonderful opportunity to break that wedding, because he had make the bigger mistake mistake with her.

That will f**k her more even than divorcing. Of course going on whith the wise advices given here by rest of forists.

:jump:
 
Question: Does he know someone in the area?
If so he could send a surprize guest to the adress.
Make sure the guest have experience in leaving no trail.

Disclaimer: That is in no way behaviour I condone.....;-)

For him: JAG, Chaplain, Team mates in that order.

//KJ.
 
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if he was in demolitions he could make the ending of their relationship a bit flashy and spicy!


with love from a Russian man.

send her to Russian. we usally dig a grave and bury the removed alive! :p

btw tell the bro to tell her he forgives her and so on that everything is fine so she has no susspision while he cuts the money flow and everything else.

make things real but not overly, let him stay sad and mad but tell her he loves her and bla bla bla otherwise she might do some **** too to make things hard for him.
 
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btw tell the bro to tell her he forgives her and so on that everything is fine so she has no susspision while he cuts the money flow and everything else.

make things real but not overly, let him stay sad and mad but tell her he loves her and bla bla bla otherwise she might do some **** too to make things hard for him.

She's already playing with a loaded gun... best thing she could do is STFU and melt into the wall at this point... but doesn't seem she's none too bright thus far.
 
personally i cant fathom WHY in Hell some women do this sort of thing. Especially knowing and she does know, that this kind of bullshyte behavour could put him under more stress than he would be in over there in the sandbox....Put her photo up in mil sites so all can see her and know that when shes on the 'prowl' to stay away from her. Shes a gold-digger and women like that give genuin women a bad rep!!!!..sorry just my opinion....and i didnt swear once!!!..lol
 
I don't know if an email can be used in court, but, according to the soldiers and sailors relief act she can't divorce him while he's deployed. I'm not sure if he can divorce her while he's deployed, but the nearest Base legal office will know what he can and can't do. But I do know that he will have to support her until the divorce s final ( been there done that, got real educated about it real fast). As long as they were not married ten years or more she gets none of his retirement, and if theres no kids theres no support after the divorce is final, as long as she cheated on him.
 
I know the thread is a but outdated, but just read it and been there before.
I hope your brother is doing better now.
Good computer monitoring software I used is: keylogpc
Nice price also and worked.
 
The first thing for the man to do is going straight to the Chaplain of his unit.
I'm quite sure the Chaplain will tell him, first of all, to ascertain if the wife is telling the truth. I'm not justifying the woman's behavior: it's just personal experience. When I was a soldier I had a similar "adventure". Some women react to the stress of seeing their men going away (to war) trying to keep them "on the wire", that is to keep them mentally closer and bound to the women they love. It's a psychological matter.
The most important thing to do is to cool down and try to handle the whole thing with great care.

I'm not trying in any way to excuse the woman: her behavior is inexcusable, because he is far away, can't do anything and this is a source of great pain.

But, I don't know, maybe the marriage can be saved. I'm a Christian and I say the man can pray for his his own life and to keep calm and reasonable.
After that, he surely needs to go and talk to the JAG, asking for legal counselling.

I hope I have been of some help.

God help
 
As far as I know (it might not be helpful, but worth a shot)the DEPENDANT part of BAH is to be distributed until the spouse is no longer a dependant i.e. a divorce. So, take the difference if he was getting BAH on-rite and what he's getting now. She's supposed to get that difference. If she can't live off it, sucks to be her.

Follow the above advice. Have him go see the legal officer. He can even draft up divorce paperwork while in theater, mail it to her, have her sign it, then the "seperated" time period that needs to go by before they get an actual divorce (if you even have that time period in MA) can be spent during the deployment.
 
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