Topic: Costello Buys a Computer

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September 30th, 2005   Post 1
Missileer
Nuclear Duck Hunter
 
 
Gear

Post; Costello Buys a Computer


ABBOTT AND COSTELLO BUY A COMPUTER
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to
REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us
who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud
Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
"Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals and track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say
I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with
some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything
I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"
__________________



“War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feelings which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.”
—John Stuart Mill
 
September 30th, 2005   Post 2
Italian Guy
Legatus Legionis
 
 
Gear

Those two guys were fun
__________________
"Freedom is the sure possession of those alone who have the courage to defend it".
Pericles.


 
October 1st, 2005   Post 3
LIPS
Tribuni Angusticlavii
 
 
__________________
Some more words of wisdom from LIPS
 
October 1st, 2005   Post 4
tomtom22
Chief Engineer
 
 
Gear

__________________
"It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations
 
October 2nd, 2005   Post 5
ghost457
Primus Pilus
 
 
too young to know about Abbot and Costelllo, but still funny
 
October 20th, 2006   Post 6
AJChenMPH
Forum Health Inspector
 
 
Gear

Bump -- just got this in my inbox tonight.
__________________


Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
-- Isaiah 6:8
 
October 20th, 2006   Post 7
Sevens
Forum Brat
 
 
Gear

LOL That's great! "Who's On First?" is an awesome skit.
__________________
Woe to the man or woman who thinks that the capacity to kill is not lurking behind these civilized eyes. -- James Woods

Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.
 
October 20th, 2006   Post 8
Team Infidel
Milforum's Postmaster
 
 
Gear



that's funny
__________________
 
October 21st, 2006   Post 9
C/1Lt Henderson
Milforum Pivotman
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ghost457
too young to know about Abbot and Costelllo, but still funny
Yep...Exactly my thoughts.
__________________
C/1Lt Ret. Henderson
"Life is a tragedy to those who feel, and a comedy to those who think."- Fortune Cookie
 
October 21st, 2006   Post 10
AJChenMPH
Forum Health Inspector
 
 
Gear

Maaaaaaan, I'm gettin' old.

Here's the video for you young'uns: Link.