You become a boob

I wish there was money growing off trees.

instead, boobs grow on trees

I wish I wasnt a boob lol. Oh look at me, I am a boooob,

Nope, you have a boob for rest of your life.

I wish I would have a GF by now.....

You will get a BF.

I wish I had a faster computer

it crashes really fast too.

i wish that i could make a hundred un-corruptable wishes.

and they would all be corrupted just when you think they are uncorrupted.

I wish I could win a poker tournament.

you got fold instead.

I wish I could be richer than Bill Gates

Bill Gates gets sued out of all his money.

I wish i were having sex right now.

You are virgin for rest of your life.

I wish I had a bigger house.

You live in a one room shack.

I wish tomorrow was Saturday.