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February 4th, 2005
| Post 1 |
| Master Gunner | Post; Computers Are DivineJesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They faxed. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments. They downloaded. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They created labels and cards. They created charts and graphs. They did some genealogy reports. They did every job known to man. Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone! It's all GONE! I Iost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?" God just shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."
__________________ "Do not forget your dogs of war, your big guns, which are the most-to-be respected arguments of the rights of kings." - Frederick the Great, King of Prussia  |
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February 4th, 2005
| Post 2 |
| Cadet Moderator  | Good one. 
__________________ Pte K. Steliga RMC/CMR Cadet Wing Quartermaster Per ardua ad astra |
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September 13th, 2005
| Post 3 |
| Chief Engineer  | 
__________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations  |
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September 13th, 2005
| Post 4 |
| Primus Pilus | lmao... so lame...
__________________ \"The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.\" |
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September 13th, 2005
| Post 5 | ||
| Tribunus Laticlavius | Quote:
But funny
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September 14th, 2005
| Post 6 | |
| Tribuni Angusticlavii | Post; Re: Computers Are DivineQuote:
__________________ If I am asked what we are fighting for, I can reply in two sentences. In the first place, to fulfil a solemn international obligation . . . an obligation of honor which no self-respecting man could possibly have repudiated. I say, secondly, we are fighting to vindicate the principle that small nationalities are not to be crushed in defiance of international good faith at the arbitrary will of a strong and overmastering Power. Author: Rt. Hon. Herbert Henry Asquith Source: Statement, to House of Commons, Declaration of War with Germany, Aug. 4, 1914 | |
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September 14th, 2005
| Post 7 |
| Master Gunner | Actually Jesus saves, but Moses invests.  |
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October 5th, 2005
| Post 8 |
| Centurion | GR8 1!  |
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October 10th, 2005
| Post 9 |
| Tribunus Laticlavius  | hehe I love this type of joke and even more amusing is that the wife doesnt see why its so funny.
__________________ If horses would have hands and could paint with their hands and create works of art like the humans, then horses would form and paint the gods with the shape of horses and they would build sculptures according to their own bodies. - Xenophanes |
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