The young army chaplain had an important appointment at a big cathedral service. On his arrival the Bishop asked him if he would kindly deliver the day's sermon.
The nervous chaplain explained that he would, on such an occasion, suffer from stage-fright. The Bishop tells him, listen, i have the same problem. My solution is a little whisky. Take a few decent shots before you go on, just to loosen up. The occasion will then take over and see you through.

He enjoys the experience and afterwards seeks out the Bishop to ask his opinion of his performance.

Actually, very good my boy. You pulled it off. Just a few tiny points I would like to make to help you in future. First, it is not a good idea, at the end of your sermon, to tear up your notes and throw them at the congregation. Secondly, it is always best at the end to leave the pulpit by the steps, and not slide down the hand -rail.

And lastly, please try to remember in future that David's sling was full of SHOT.

lol