Topic: For Catholics Only

tomtom22 · August 14th, 2005

This information is for Catholics only. It must not be Divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
MAGI: The most famous trio to ever attend a baby shower.
MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew

LIPS · August 15th, 2005

Funny

Irishone · August 15th, 2005

lol good stuff, where do you get them tomtom!

tomtom22 · August 15th, 2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irishone

lol good stuff, where do you get them tomtom!

A lot of these come from a friend of mine who is retired and spends his mornings surfing the net. I get at least a half dozen from him every day.

Gator · January 13th, 2007

Pity the 2 X's didn't make the list Colonel, Exorcism and Excommunication.

Team Infidel · February 8th, 2007

haha good stuff...

bulldogg · February 8th, 2007

Funny because its true.

Sevens · February 8th, 2007

Very nice!

August 14th, 2005	Post 1
tomtom22 Chief Engineer Gear	Post; For Catholics Only This information is for Catholics only. It must not be Divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are. AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass. CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync. HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range. RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left. INCENSE: Holy Smoke! JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams. JONAH: The original "Jaws" story. JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own. KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. MAGI: The most famous trio to ever attend a baby shower. MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.) PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches. PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats. RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot. RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand. TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman. USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew __________________ "It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." - Norman Schwarskopf, Commander of Desert Storm Operations

August 15th, 2005	Post 2
LIPS Tribuni Angusticlavii	Funny __________________ Some more words of wisdom from LIPS

August 15th, 2005	Post 3
Irishone Centurion Gear	lol good stuff, where do you get them tomtom! __________________ Tír gan teanga, tír gan anam.

January 13th, 2007	Post 5
Gator U of B and B Alumnus Gear	Pity the 2 X's didn't make the list Colonel, Exorcism and Excommunication. __________________

February 8th, 2007	Post 6
Team Infidel Milforum's Postmaster Gear	haha good stuff... __________________

February 8th, 2007	Post 7
bulldogg Milforum's Bouncer Gear	Funny because its true. __________________ "The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental." - John Steinbeck

February 8th, 2007	Post 8
Sevens Forum Brat Gear	Very nice! __________________ All I want is for one guy to prove to me that they're not all the same....... Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.

Topic: For Catholics Only

Post; For Catholics Only