A family was in a small boat touring the Atlantic coast when they were caught in a sudden storm off the shores of Florida. Fortunately they were towed safely to Fort Lauderdale by the ever alert U.S. Coast Guard.

"I always knew that the God would take care of us," said the composed five-year-old daughter of the boat owner after the family got home.

"I like to hear you say that," beamed her mother. "Always remember that God is in heaven watching over us."

"Oh, I wasn't talking about that God," the five-year-old interrupted.

"I was talking about the COAST God."


I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Here are the similarities I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices.

Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates
Wal-Mart: Old Mr. Peter greets you at the automatic doors

Heaven: Eternal
Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours

Heaven: Where old people go when they expire
Wal-Mart: Where old people go when they retire

Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God
Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone who loves shopping

Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God
Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers

Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin
Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint

Heaven: motto - EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully
Wal-Mart: motto - EDLP = Every day low prices

Heaven: Sam Walton -- now a resident!

Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola -- now on sale!

haha...