With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, There is a better way of life when we get old & feeble.

I have ascertained that I can get a nice room at the Holiday Inn for around $65.00...that leaves $123.00 a day for beer, food (room service), laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. They have a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

Super 8 is somewhat more economical and they have free breakfast, though you usually have to walk next door for lunch and dinner. There may be a bit of a wait to get that first floor room, but that's OK, it takes months to get into decent nursing homes. There is the Senior Bus, the Handicap bus (if you fake a decent limp), a Church bus or van, cabs, and even a regular bus. For a change of lunch take the Airport Bus and eat at one of the fast food cafe's there.

The Inn has security, and if someone sees you drop over, they will Call an ambulance. And should you break a hip, the American Way is to Sue.

What more can you ask for?

As a bonus, they all have AARP and other Senior discounts.
So: When I reach the Golden age, help me keep my grin; Just check my old rickety ass, into the nearest Holiday Inn !!!



Joe Cap moved into a new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.

Joe smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. Poor Joe broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming..."

Joe followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

Flustered and embarrassed, Joe finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears!"

Astounded, and a little hurt, she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts, they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm and solid! Look at my skin -- no blemishes anywhere! How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"

Clearing his throat, Joe stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming? That was me."

Hahaha...Awkward. Hahaha.

Nice one there.

Oh that was different!

funny....