One of the things we'd do to newbies on their recruit or apprentice coursess a military variation of "send the fool further". You'd send a private off to the QM to pick up some silly non-existent item. I remember some of the ones we used to send them for:
- sky hooks: when there was no overhang to hang your cam net or land line, etc.;
- cans of elbow grease;
- a box of short circuits;
- a tube of propeller glue. I used this one myself. When the private looked dubious, I said, "What, you never heard of propeller glue? It's only sticky in one direction, but lets the propeller spin freely. How did you think they kept the propellers on a plane? If you used screws, they'd either fall off or screw themselves tight." I said it with a straight face -- I was so proud of myself! That convinced him to go off; but he came back empty-handed (and with a rather worried expression), saying, "Sgt H--- says you can't have any propeller glue until you bring back the spool of shore line." Well, we all lost it at that point, enlightenment came upon our poor Grasshopper, and he was mighty choked over it.
Better still -- there's a item in our kits that is more properly called a female-to-female cable connector; in Sigs parlance it's a "lesbian connector" (I kid you not). So when we actually needed one, and tried to send the private to go fetch us a lesbian connector, he refused to go. Came quite close to being insubordinate.
Anyone else use a similar "item"? Or, anyone able to make up a few new cool ones for cruel tyrant-sergeants to put in their arsenals to make privates cry?