Remember the old saying
"Who called the cook a bastard?"
"Who called the bastard a cook?"
On exercise once, we had a night off and went for a few beers. One of the Squadron cooks had such a skin full we took the mattress off of his bed in case he threw up and choked, he was then laid face down.
At 5am he suddenly woke up and declared "I'm late for work", dragged his whites on, no wash, shower or brushing his teeth, then staggered out with the bed springs still imprinted on his face.
I got to the cook house for breakfast to see the cook (still with the bed springs imprinted on his face) frying the eggs, asked me "Want a egg?" I declined.