Reading post 595212 in main thread: Some Military Quotes you most likey haven't heard!
February 13th, 2011  
rattler
 
 
Not actual quotes but stuff from our (70s, dont know whether its still in there ) ZDvs (one, "3/11, Gefechtsdienst aller Truppen", AFAIK never published but dispersed for tests and nicknamed "Dschungelbuch" - jungle book -, had a series of them, all absurd, and all made for great jokes or urban legends) in Germany, qouted from memory so might be slightly incorrect (but you get the gist), badly translated by yours truly:

- "Bei Einbruch der Nacht hat der Soldat mit zunehmender Dunkelheit zu rechnen" ("When night falls the soldier has to expect augmenting darkness")

- "Fällt der Soldat ins Wasser, hat er unverzüglich mit selbsttätigen Schwimbewegungen zu reagieren, die Meldung hierbei entfällt" ("Should the soldier fall into water he has to react immidiately with autonomous swimming movments, without obligation to report this action to a superior")

- "Beim Erreichen der Baumkrone hat der Soldat selbständig die Kletterbewegungen einzustellen" ("When reaching the top of a tree the soldier has to autonomously refrain from climbing further")

- "Reinigung des Aborts: Nach Benutzung des Aborts ist zwingend die Spülung zu betätigen. Eine Delegierung dieser Tätigkeit an andere ist ausdrücklich verboten. Nach dem Spülvorgang verbleibende Exkrementanhaftungen sind mit der dafür vorgesehenen Reinigungsbürste manuell zu entfernen." ("Toilet Cleaning: After using the toilet it is obligatory to flush. Delagation of this action to others is forbidden expressively. Any rests of excrement remaining after the flushing process have to be removed manually with the brush that is provided for such an eventuality")

- "Verlassen des Aborts: Vor dem Verlassen der Entleerungskabine sind die Beinkleider wieder in die Ausgangsposition zu bringen. Bei Auftreten unangenehmer Gerüche ist das Öffnen einer Lüftungsklappe angezeigt. Eine abschliessende Reinigung der Handinnenflächen wird anheimgestellt." ("Leaving the toilet: Before leaving the toilet quarters - literally: "Bowel Emptying Quarters" - trousers have to be brought into the position they were in when entering. Should bad odors occur opening of a ventilation flap is advised. A final cleaning of the inside of the hands of the user are left to user discretion")

- "Nach dem Einsatz von Atomsprengkörpern kann das Gelände sehr stark verändert sein. Das Zurechtfinden wird dadurch erschwert." ("After the use of nuclear war heads the terrain might be altered severely. This makes it more difficult to establish your position correctly").

- "Ein toter Soldat hat viel von seiner Gefährlichkeit verloren." ("A dead soldier has lost a lot of his dangerousness")

- "Liegt der Kopf mehr als 20 cm vom Rumpf entfernt, ist der Tod festzustellen." (If you find the head more than 20 cm away from the torso you have to assume death")

- "Das Rohr gibt dem Geschoss seine Richtung." ("The tube determines the direction the grenade will go")

- "Bei Nachttemperaturen über 27 Grad in der Stube sind die Ärmel des Schlafanzuges vier Mal aufzukrempeln" ("At night temperatures over 27 degrees centigrade inside quarters you have to roll up the sleeves of the arms of your night dress four times")

- "Man unterscheidet zwischen linker und rechter Seite des Panzers. Die hydraulischen Verbindungen stellen die hydraulischen Verbindungen dar." ("In general you differentiate between the left and the right side of the tank. The hydraulic lines represent the hydraulic lines").

"Wird ein Soldat eingestellt, der das 65. Lebensjahr vollendet hat, so ist er zu entlassen" (In case a soldier is drafted who has completed his 65th year of life he has to be dismissed")


And one US one I read some time ago, dont have a source:

"You, you, and you ... panic. The rest of you, come with me." - supposedly by an U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.



Same for some military aviator ones I remember having heard hundreds of times, also no source:

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter - and therefore, unsafe."

"What is the similarity between ATC folks and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies."

"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two of those are always needed to successfully complete the flight."

Aviators Basics: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."


FWIW,

Rattler


15M(ay): Noooobody! ...expects the Spanish Revolution!:
Update SEP 2011: Now reached US, called "Occupy Wall Street" and they claim they invented it. Thanks for learning from Spain!

Last edited by rattler; February 13th, 2011 at 17:18..
 
 
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