Dougals joke post. MODs please let back to back posts info
A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair,
turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer
before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but brought him
a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another
beer. It's gonna start."
This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.
When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it
That's it! She blows her top! "You bastard! You waltz in here,
flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then
expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that
I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"
The husband sighed. "Oh no - it's started!"
A Scotsman, an Italian, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a
good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from,
back in Glasgee, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, ye buy a drink, ye
buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy yir third drink!"
The others agree that sounds like a good place.
Then the Italian says, "Yeah, dat's a nice bar, but where I come from
dere's a better one. In Roma, dere's this place, Vincenzo's. At Vincenzo's,
you buy a drink, Vincenzo buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vincenzo
buys you anudda drink."
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then the Irishman says, "You tink dat's great? Where oi come from in
Dublin, dere's dis place called Morphy's. At Morphy's, they boy you your
forst drink, dey boy you your second drink, dey boy you your tird drink,
and den, dey take you in de back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two."That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to
"No," says the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister."
I have heard him speak of the Ireland he wished to see. When he struck the spark on the anvil, he struck the anvil in my heart. When I leave school, the only pursuit I want to engage in is the winning of the freedom of my country. Michael Collins