| I have so much to say about this.
There is a common misconception that punishment is bad. This is a half truth. This is because they're assuming that the punishment is emotion based and uncalculated. That sort of punishment can lead to real abuse.
What you need is punishment that is thought out, purposeful, has an objective and is within reasonable parameters (don't beat the kid half to death).
Also it needs to be balanced by a system of rewards.
Both reward and punishment must be CONSISTENT, and not varying highly on the mood of the parent.
Being a teacher I see so many examples of failed parenthood. The laws that are of course in place to 'protect the children' don't help either. They in fact, do more harm than good overall because it gives the parents two choices: make your kids into spoiled brats or lose them to the government.
Also this bulls*it about "Mr. Johnson is my dad, call me Andy," has GOT to go. It's one of the surefire signs of an adult shirking his duties. When you are a mom or a dad, you have a job to do and that means you are a leader of the household above your own children. To put yourself on even ground in terms of rank with your own kids is a dereliction of duty. It deprives your kids of models to follow in terms of how one should roughly be as they approach adulthood. Imagine what you want your kid to be and then BE THAT PERSON.
Many people get this the other way around. They see who they are, get all egotistical about it and then expect their kid to be like them. Think of it the other way. You might actually get it right. |